May 4, 2002

The sign on the billboard said: "Safe sex is killing our children." Teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases are not locker room jokes. They are literally destroying the lives of hundreds of thousands of teenagers each year.

The current secular contention that teenagers cannot be expected to maintain sexual abstinence is ridiculous. Not only can they be expected to maintain abstinence, they must be and that expectation must be communicated by home, church, school, community---for the teenagers' emotional and physical welfare.

Sex education for teens in the home, in the church, and in the school needs to be abstinence based. Teenagers need to know that "safe sex" is sex between two people who have not experienced sex with anyone else and are now experiencing sex beneath the protecting covenant of marriage.

Sex education for teenagers needs to include other matters than "just say no." Most importantly, the education needs to emphasize that a person can start over if they fail. There are second and third chances. Life is not over when failure to maintain abstinence is the case. Forgiveness from significant others is crucial. Without forgiveness, the individual is likely to continue in irresponsible, destructive use of their sexuality.

The modeling of loving marriage relationships is another important ingredient in teenage sex education. Teenagers need to witness loving marriages between significant adults in their lives if they are to put love and sex in their proper perspective. Adults who model sex outside of marriage will not be successful in helping teenagers avoid the harmful effects of sexual experimentation. "Do as I say, not as I do," will not work.

Building upon abstinence as a base, all of the facts concerning human sexuality and reproduction should be shared with the teenager. Knowing facts does not promote experimentation and ignorance does deter it. Teenagers should know about contraceptives. They should know family values about their use. Families, however, who supply their teenagers with contraceptives contradict their message of the expectation of abstinence.

For sex education to be effective, the messages taught by the home, the church, and the school need to be parallel. Books are available that will help both parents and teenagers. A few years ago, I preached a message on sex entitled, "What Is Fun, Fantastic, and Christian." The message incorporated the above principles. If you would like an audio tape of that message, I will send you one for a $5 replacement and shipping cost. To order the tape, send your order to Families Matter, Inc., P.O. Box 726, Marshall, Texas 75671.