The words to an old Frank Sinatra song have been buzzing around in my head. The words I remember are "Love is lovelier the second time around." Maybe one of my readers can help me with locating the music. As I remember the sentiment, the idea is that when you have a second chance at marital love, it is lovelier the "second time around." Perhaps this is to be explained by the fact that we often do not know what our most prized possession is until we have lost it.

The old Sinatra song and my anticipation of being with my granddaughters started me thinking about "parenting the second time around." In one sense, the grandparent thing is easy. You love on your grandchildren and then you send them home when you get tired. My sister-in-law, an acclaimed grandmother says: "Grandparents are either tired or lonely." As a grandparent you do not have to assume the responsibility of guiding your grandchildren into adulthood. You can just sit back and smile while your children struggle with the task.

But, what if for some reason you find yourself with the responsibility of being the parent to your grandchildren? Is parenting "lovelier the second time around?"

I am aware of many in our community who are "parenting a second time around." In some cases, death robs children of their parents and the grandparents are the only family members able to take on the task. For others, their children are unable to complete the parenting task given to them. Sometimes it is a case of substance abuse, or for some other reason, the parent is unable to assume responsibility for the life of another. In any case, my "hat goes off" to those grandparents involved in "parenting a second time around."

I think it is immaterial, however, whether parenting the second time around is lovelier or not. When your heart writes a check, you simply do what you have to do to cash it.

If you are trying to "parent a second time around," and are having a difficult time, call me - 903-938-0262. I will put you in touch with some folk in our community who are parenting their grandchildren. The folk I will put you in touch with are doing a good job of "parenting 2" and they are managing to keep their sanity. And that dear reader is no mean accomplishment - even in parenting the first time around.