September 15, 2001

These last ten days have been a hard week on all of us. This is the first time that Americans have been attack on their home soil since the War for Independence in 1776. For the first time we are all feeling vulnerable. In the 50's, 60's, and 70's the Soviet Union had its missiles pointed at us, but we did not think they would fire them because we had our missals pointed at them. In the 21^st. century, we will live with the knowledge that our enemies can do great harm to us even if they do not have the military capability of attacking with ships and missiles and landing troops on our shores.

Today I am wondering what effect this sense of vulnerability will have on our families. Children have been featured on the news coverage feeling afraid. "THEY will come and get us while we are in school or at home," some have shared.

What can we, as parents, do when our children come to us with their fears?

In the first place, remain calm. And if your are not calm, appear to be calm. Agitation communicates that you don’t know what to do and will increase the anxiety in a child or teen. Encourage your child to talk by listening and making responses like, "I know that is scary but..." and assure him/her that you will be their protection.

Better than trying to assure your child with words is to assure him/her with touch. An enveloping hug communicates security when words just do not get the job done. Be aware that you may need to comfort your child when they are having bad dreams.

Do not allow your child to watch endless coverage of the attacks against the Pentagon and World Trade Center buildings. Encourage your child to play with their friends and to give attention to school studies.

Worship and Bible study has an assuring effect on the entire family. When life seems to be out of control, it is helpful to be reminded that God is still on His throne and that our lives are in His hands.

Be alert to the possibility that you may need to secure the services a counselor specializing in helping children. Talk with your pastor or school counselor for a referral.

On Tuesday, September 11, a few minutes before 8:00 AM, our way of life was drastically changed when our country was attacked by a shadow-enemy. How that change will work itself out is not yet clear. The family is, however, a remarkably adaptive institution. Follow the above suggestions and you will help your family get through these trying, changing times.