March 3, 2001

ALL MOTHERS ARE WORKING-MOTHERS! Some work outside the home and some work inside the home, but all mothers are working mothers. Some mothers work two shifts - one outside the home and then when they get home, the second shift begins. Some mothers who work the equivalent of two shifts are single moms. Some are married to men who mistakenly think that they are the sole financial provider of the family and that they are entitled to the privilege of coming home at the end of the workday and doing nothing that is needed to make the home run smoothly.

In a survey of U. S. work habits: Forty percent said they work more than 40 hours a week. Twenty-one percent said they work more than 50 hours a week. And working mothers were too busy to answer the survey.

For most households with children under 18 years of age (68%) the mothers work outside the home. This is compared to 40% in 1970. Many of these women bear a load of guilt about neglecting their children. I have good news for working moms - inside and outside the home.

In a survey of 1005 children and their mothers, funded by the Michigan-based Whirlpool Foundation, a "report card" was given to the moms by their children. Although balancing work and family is harder than ever, evidence from the survey indicates that children are getting what they need. Children said that their physical and emotional needs were being taken care of in both categories, at-home and away-from-home working moms.

Another finding from the survey was that mothers remain the primary emotional and spiritual care givers whether or not they worked outside the home. With all they do, most of the mothers think they fall short. Seventy percent of those surveyed said they would like to spend more time playing with their children. The children, however, described their mothers as "loving" and "there for them." Moms continue to provide most of the chauffeuring, most of the help with homework, and most of the teaching of moral and spiritual values. This is true whether a father is present in the home or not.

Dads, while this report reflects wonderfully upon our wives, it does not reflect well on us. But we have better stuff in us than we have shown. Perhaps while this year is still young we could resolve to be more involved in the lives of our children and more engaged in the physical tasks of making our households work. If you would like to get your wife really excited, make the above resolve and tell her over a cup of coffee, early in the morning, before the children arise.