August 25, 2001

Living together without the benefit of clergy has gone from being a relatively rare situation to nearly the norm in the United States. The percentage of marriages preceded by cohabitation rose from about 10 percent in 1965 to over 50 percent in 1994, according to Pamela J. Smock, a sociologist at the University of Michigan Institute for Social Research.

For most couples, Smock points out, cohabitation tends to be short-lived. Estimates suggest that 55 percent marry, 40 percent end the relationship within five years, and only about 5 percent continue cohabiting more than five years.

Contrary to the popular image that couples who live together do so for lust and to produce children, Smock contends that the motive is to "take care of children." In about 70 percent of the cases, the children of cohabiting couples belong to only one partner. About 40 percent of all the children in the United States spend some time living with their mother and a cohabiting partner.

According to Smock, the socioeconomic differences between couples that cohabit and those that do not are minor and insignificant. "Cohabitation," she contends, "is now common among all groups of people."

While common sense might suggest that premarital cohabitation would give couples an opportunity to learn about each other and increase their chances for successful marriage, the evidence points to the opposite conclusion. Smock finds "Premarital cohabitation tends to be associated with lower marital quality and increased risk of divorce."

Maintaining celibacy before marriage is still the best way to prepare for a home where "two become one." "True love" can and does wait! Scripture has been advocating this for 3000 years and more. How interesting that scientific data points in the same direction.