April 7, 2001

English essayist and historian, Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881) said: "The block of granite which is an obstacle on the path of the weak, becomes a stepping stone on the path of the strong."

Life has a way of scattering a lot of rocks along a family’s pathway. In this, all families seem to be the same. The difference in families has to do with what the rocks become, stumbling blocks or stepping stones.

For some couples, the bride’s stepping on her dress as she ascends the stairs of the rostrum of the church, stumbling as she goes, becomes a portend for their lives. They painfully make their way through life, stumbling over obstacles as they go.

Other couples seem to glide over the rocks in their path as though they were intended to be stepping stones.

How do you turn life’s stumbling blocks into stepping stones? This is the theme of the book, "Empowering Couples: Building on Your Strengths," by sociologist David Olson and his daughter, Amy Olson.

In a study of over 21,000 marriages, Dr. Olsen identified the "Top Ten" stumbling blocks for marriages in the United States. He reasoned that if he could help couples change their perspective about their problems, he could help them improve the quality of their lives together.

Seeing the problems of your marriage as opportunities for growth begins with identifying your strengths. Then if you want to complete the cycle of turning your stumbling blocks into stepping stones, look at the problem areas of your relationship as opportunities to grow.

Become intentional about growing in your marriage. Pick out one area where you have the opportunity to get even better and do some things that are overtly designed to improve your marriage in that area.

Are you curious about that list of "top ten stumbling blocks?" Well, the number one stumbling block for 93% of the 21,000 + couples surveyed was "we have problems sharing leadership equally."

Is that a small stone or what? That is the way it is with most of our stumbling blocks. With a little effort, most of them can be turned into stepping stones. If you have trouble figuring it out, there are helping professionals and pastors in our area that can assist you.