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November 16, 2002
Do you remember the promises you made to yourself last year
between Christmas and New Years Day? You know, all those promises
about moderation and watching the calendar? Well, I am the Elephant
Fairy, come to remind you of promises made when you were stressed to
the limit from over spending of resources time and money.
Now is the time to do something about those resolves you made
last year. I have some suggestions which if followed can help you
come to the end of the year relaxed and grateful rather than anxious
and stressed.
FIRST, take your calendar and
write, "Be Careful!" in red ink across each week between
now and Christmas. Make sure that you leave time for being with
family every seven days. Overly obligated holiday calendars is a
major cause of arriving at the holidays end out of breath and
out of spirit. Calendared holiday events add seasoning to this time
of year. These events, however, can become like too much salt -
ruining the very thing it intends to flavor.
SECOND, reduce your
expectations for times of family togetherness. This will help with
the frequent feeling that family togetherness was a failure. The
perception is that EVERYONE is happy at Christmas---EVERY family is
being thankful over a roasted turkey at Thanksgiving. The truth is,
everyone is not happy at holiday times and neither is every family
together. Holidays are not usually times for resolving long standing
issues. Be realistic in your expectations for the time of
togetherness. Lighten up! Don't try to resolve issues at this time.
Ask family members for a special time if you have unresolved issues
with which you want to deal.
THIRD, leave family members
free to choose not to be together at your house this year. Don't
punish them for their choice. Perhaps they need to begin creating
traditions for their immediate family around the holiday season.
FOURTH, be sure to leave some
holiday time for your friends. If you are not careful, the holidays
will come and go with your having spent time with your work
associates, your family, your church, but not with your friends.
Time spend with your friends is an investment in your mental health.
FINALLY, determine to do
something for someone who cannot return the favor. Perhaps this will
be for an older person or a disadvantaged family. The act of doing
something for others will do wonders to restore sanity to what is
often a hectic time. Share of yourself, not just of your means.
Focusing on someone in need is one way of refusing to give in to
your own problems.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
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