|
Hollie Atkinson's column appears in the
Marshall
News Messenger every Saturday morning.
|
|
August 2, 2003
August is the time for letting go. It is the time for trying out wings, for
flying up the steps of those big yellow school buses and being carted off to
kindergarten.
For some mothers and grandmothers this is deja vu. It is old hat. This is their
third or fourth kindergarten child to release into the hands of a teacher. You
can tell the ones for whom this is a first or second experience. They are the
ones who are driving in the caravan behind the bus, waiting to see their child
exit safely from the bus and enter the school. These first or second timers are
the mothers and grandmothers whom the school officials have to usher out of the
building so that the children can safely move down the halls for lunch.
Separation is a growing experience for the child as well as the care-giver. I
remember that my mother stayed at school with me the entire day for all of that
first week. I don t know whether things were more lax sixty years ago, or
whether my mother was a rather formidable opponent when it came to the tears of
her first born. Perhaps it was a little of both.
Separation anxiety is real for children and for parents. I have seen the fear
on the faces of my children when the time came to release my grandchild into
the world of public education. The anxiety of the child is that their parent
might not come back to get them. The anxiety of the parent is that the child
might not be safe when they are not around to insure that safety personally.
But letting go is the task of parental love. It is at this point that romantic
loves differs from a mother s love. In romantic love, two people who are
separated become one. But in the case of a mother s love, two people who are
one, become separated. That separation begins obstetrically with birth and
continues as the child ventures out to stay with grandparents and perhaps
childcare providers.
Letting go is to trust. It is to learn that I can trust my parent to get me at
the end of the day. And it is to learn that I can trust my child s teacher to
be a loving professional in his/her life. Ultimately it is to trust God to care
for my child when I am not around.
I heard about a mother, who one stormy morning, anxiously called the school
office to check if her son's bus had arrived safely. "What's your son's name,"
the secretary asked, "and what grade is he in?" After a long pause, "Oh, he's
not a student," she said, "he is the driver." Clearly some mother missed
several mandates for letting go of her care-giving task.
August is the month of "letting go." Look for me on the first day of school. I
will be the one with the raised coffee mug in a parental salute to those of you
taking your kindergarten student to his/her first day of school.
|
|