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Hollie Atkinson's column appears in the
Marshall
News Messenger every Saturday morning.
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June 14, 2003
The pastor was out of the pulpit on a Sunday evening and rather than having a
preacher supply for him, he had four or five of his laymen fill the sermon time
in the service. These were men who were older - men who were beyond the age of
still having children at home. Apparently these men had been given an
assignment because each of them began his five to seven minute talk with the
same opening statement: "If I had my parenting to do over, I would make sure
that I . . ."
The first man said: "If I had to do my parenting over again, I wouldn t like
it." Here was a man happy with the empty nest years. After the laughter
subsided, he said a very significant thing, "If I had my parenting to do over,
I would make sure that I MADE PREPARATION." He talked about taking advantage of
parenting seminars. He spoke of reading literature in the field. And being a
retired educator, he suggested parenting courses through the sociology
department of a university. So little preparation is ever made to be a good
parent. We think that it will "just come to us." Preparation can with profit be
made at each passage point for your child: infancy, preschool, pre-adolescence,
adolescence, and adult.
Another man said that he would make sure that he was INVOLVED IN THE LIVES OF
HIS CHILDREN - sports activities, school, church. He said that he would not
just take his children to church, he would go with them. It is a fact that
families who do a lot of things together stay together.
"If I had my parenting to do over, I WOULD MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILDREN KNEW THAT
I LOVED THEIR MOTHER," responded one of the men. A pediatrician friend of mine
contends that the best thing a father can do for his children is to let them
see him affectionately relating to their mother. Great security comes to
children who know that their parents love each other. They also learn what it
is to love a woman or what it is to be loved by a man.
"I WOULD MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILDREN WERE CONNECTED TO THEIR EXTENDED FAMILY."
We would take more vacations to grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. We would
celebrate our connection. Our society feels so rootless. Extended family tells
us from which we have come. We will not likely be successful in venturing out
until we know from whence we come.
The one thing that ran through each of the talks was the importance of a
personal relationship with God. In one way or another each man spoke of needing
a personal relationship with God in order to be the best parent he could be.
"I'D MAKE SURE THAT MY CHILDREN HEARD ME PRAY FOR THEM at the table before
meals or at the bedside before sleep," said one man.
Sunday is Father's Day and these are good words for fathers still in the active
phase of their parenting!
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