June 15, 2001

Billy Sunday, the Presbyterian evangelist of the turn of the century, said in one of his sermons: "Give a boy a good mother and any old stick can be his father." Is that true? Surely every child needs a "good mother," but is this all they need? Doesn’t every child need a good father too?

Society's answer is "no" or "not necessarily." From TV sitcoms to social planners glamorizing same-sex parents, the message is clear: "Dads are at best superfluous, and at worst a definite deficit."

In his book, Fatherless America, Confronting Our Most Urgent Social Problem, David Blankenhorn ascerts that "whether our concern is with teenage pregnancy, crime, violence against women, educational failure, or childhood poverty, no social trend of our generation is more dangerous than fatherlessness. It weakens families, harms children, causes or aggravates our worst social problems, and makes individual adult happiness harder to achieve."

Tonight forty percent of American children will go to sleep in homes in which their fathers do not live. In the history of our country, never have so many children grown up without knowing what it means to have a father.

"Almost-fathers" (Blandenhorn's term) will not suffice. The "Deadbeat Dad" (the ultimate bad guy), the "Visiting Father," (who visits when he can remember his visitation times), the "Sperm Father," and the "Nearby Guy" (in a fatherless society we grasp at straws) can not deliver what a child needs.

A couple of years ago, I was treated to a real contrast to Blandenhorn's "Almost-fathers." They met on a parking lot, two little girls and their father. The girls had been visiting relatives and were now on their way home. With squeals of genuine delight they ran toward the automobile that they recognized as "our car." There was no taking turns, it was both at once in Daddy's arms and talking a mile a minute. There were hugs and kisses galore. What a joy! Now there was fatherhood delivering what every child needs.

I thought to myself, here are two little girls who, long before they have their first crush on a little boy, will know what it is to be loved by someone of the opposite sex. They will know something of femininity as they experience it contrasted with the masculinity of their father. If divorce or death does not deprive these girls of this father, they will receive some basic benefits - psychological, social, economic, educational, and moral - that will be denied to half of their peers. They will grow up with the daily presence and provision of a loving, caring father.

The flight of males from their children's lives is, in my judgment, one of our most pressing social problems in Marshall, Texas. For all to many, "to father a child" refers only to the act of insemination, and not to the responsibility for raising a child.

I am pressing for dads to be involved in the lives of their children - telling them about God - teaching them how to ride a bike - reading to them before they go to bed - being involved in their school. We must have this in Marshall or suffer some austere consequences.

As we approach Father's Day 1995, here is my prayer for our town: "God give us 'REAL-FATHERS' who will walk with integrity and put their families ahead of everything and everyone except You. Amen!"